I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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