I got chris browned last night
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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