conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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