He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
