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Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
