I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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