I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
