she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
