The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize