the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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