I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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