sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
