I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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