I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
