At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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