i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
