I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
