i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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