Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
