I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
