i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
