So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
