Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize