We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
