can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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