Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
