his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
