his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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