dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
what day is it and did you see me today?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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