i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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