I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
