Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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