I smell stomach acid.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
These tits shall not be calmed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
