Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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