You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize