Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
