the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
