physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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