I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
