I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize