Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
She bit a glass in half.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
