i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
