But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
