I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
