Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
