I think my fart just growled at me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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