he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
