I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
