I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
