then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
