you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
