Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize