I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
