I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
