why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
