guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i think my cat just said my name.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
