i don't like sucking hair
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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