you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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