Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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