I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
